I still haven't had the courage to weigh myself. Terrified of knowing the truth.
It's been an interesting week - photographing what I eat has been a surprising revelation. It turns out I'm not eating nearly as many fruit and vegetable serves as I like to convince myself I am.
To be honest, my eating is pretty shit right now. It's not the worst it has been as my calories are staying within goal. However, the images reveal there is far too much processed, pre-prepared crap and insufficient fresh food.
Hardly any fruit had passed my lips this week. I used to pride myself on eating two serves of fruit daily and at least having *one* meal featuring veggies of some description.
Exercise is slowly increasing - I've had a one on one personal training session and this morning I attended a group training session. Normally these are ok, but today it was AWFUL.
It started off well with a boxing session. I'm a good boxer, surprisingly. Apparently I have good technique and a bit of strength somewhere. My trainer referred to me as a 'bit of a machine'. Gave me motivation to box harder.
The jogging between each round of boxing slowed down and eventually was a shuffle.
Then we moved on to skipping. I could the lard of my giant gut jiggling up and down with every skip over that rope. My ankle began to ache and my knee started to protest. Somehow, I kept going.
I nearly cried. I was so miserable during the latter half of the workout. I feel trapped in this morbidly obese frame, unable to escape its fatty clutches.
However there is also a part of me that knows if I keep going, one day I might not be this fat.