Monday, 10 June 2013

From the lows to the highs

Monday, 10 June 2013
Apologies for the blackness of my last post, folks. A combination of a depression low, PMS hormones and general wallowing generated the fuel for that rant.

This post is also emotionally fuelled, but it's a positive one.

In the last two-three weeks,  I've lost 4.5 kilos, without any deliberately effort. I haven't increased my exercise that much and I haven't been tracking what I eat. I know I've been been eating less, even if all of my choices aren't that great. I'm not overeating and even surprising myself that things get left on the plate when I'm full. 

I know that the loss is unsustainable at the current rate. To get real results I have to institute some more stringent planning and execution. GIven it's exactly one month today until I start the road trip to move to Melbourne, there is little room in my schedule for more that cursory nod in the direction of planning. One day at a time is all I can manage right now.  

The greatest revalation however is the change in how I feel about myself. I can't exactly say why or how it happened, just note it has. I no longer 'need' to lose the weight. I don't hate myself right now. I want to take care of myself, rather than continually punish myself with too much or not enough of wrong and right things.

It's strangely empowering.

And it's making me happy.

2 comments:

Erin said...

I've hit that stage too. Where I no longer feel a NEED to lose weight, more a want.. It means I don't stress and get upset about a no loss week, or a low increase. You're going really great Pen, and you'll find when everything else in your life falls into place, so will your weight. :-) <3

Elspeth Thorne said...

Good to hear you were feeling a little better :) I hope the trip goes well. *hugs*