Tuesday, 18 December 2012

bay of fatwrecks

Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Firstly I would like to begin with an apology to Miss Kylie who I forgot to tell about the plans before talking about them on twitter etc. I'm sorry!! I still have to tell my mother about the change in circumstances. There is a lot of baggage associated with that.

I'm feeling like a horrible dieter right now. Mostly because I'm not. I'll stuff anything in my face and the idea of actually cooking a proper meal is an anathema right now. How far I have drafted from the image of myself, the 'who I want to be'.

Breakfast on both Saturday and Sunday was Ferrero Rochers. Healthy, heh? There were burgers and dinners and pasta and all manner of things that are not good for me. I feel sluggish and heavy again.

Exercise has been all but non existent - just the daily waddling I do anyway. I am being a horrible non-contributor to the walking to mordor challenge. But are we surprised by this? My commitment to anything that benefits myself is weak at the best of times.

I'm stressed about finding somewhere else to live. I'm stressed about the change. I even had a nosebleed yesterday - although I don't know if that was a consequence of the stress of of the oppressive heat we're currently experiencing.

At least today is my last day at work for 2012. I then move into party planning and holiday mode. I'm starting with a PT session tomorrow morning, and have plans to make the first thing I do each day a long walk on the treadmill (with the cool-down being a walk to get a cup of coffee).

I've learned that there are only so many things I can concentrate on at one time before everything falls apart for me. I've exceeded that limit and eating healthily has been the first thing to fall. My headspace is kind of screwed up and I'm snorkeling through a bay of fatwrecks. I am the perfect example of what not to do.

2 comments:

Elspeth Thorne said...

*hugs*

Don't be so hard on yourself (easy to say, not to do, I know ;P). Food is often the first thing to go for a lot of people under conditions of stress. There's a bunch of normal, standard brain chemistry that prompts us to eat high-sugar, high-fat foods under stress conditions, and to conserve effort in gaining said foods. You're under very high stress - the silly season plus the rest! I'd be a raving lunatic.

For me, the only thing that really works in the daily food battle is having easy, delicious foods on hand that are healthy - and having the unhealthy ones be far away or otherwise hard to lay my hands on. Otherwise I end up stuffing my face with exactly the wrong things, or (in some ways worse) not eating at all. And, well, if you have seconds or thirds of the extremely healthy dinner ... that's not really so bad (except maybe for screwing up leftovers planning).

Snoskred said...

I'll just throw it out there.. is it worth going back to lite n easy for a couple of weeks while everything else is going on?

I know, the food can be a bit bland and boring, but it is *there* and it does not need to be thought about.

If not, maybe making sure you have some good healthy cereal on hand for breakfast will help cut out the sugar fest in the mornings.. and at least however badly the other meals go, you know you had one healthy one.

With that said, the healthy-ish and low calorie snacks I've been resorting to lately include the new Weis dessert bars (will be blogging about these soon) cut up fruit with yoghurt because summer fruits are awesome right now, and various things with Hommus. Oh, and wasabi peas. :)

I'm going to write some longish posts over the next few days about what changed things for me as far as getting more healthy in my food and exercise because there is never one big thing that makes a change happen but a bunch of little things which add up and make you go.. wow. Got to do something about this.

I'm the same with not being able to focus on a lot of things at once - which is why I find the L&E such a gift to myself.

I try to set one goal at a time, and if it is me organising healthy eating then I can't really do exercise too. Take away me having to organise the eating and I can focus in on the exercise instead. :)