One thing abundantly clear: I hate myself and treat myself horribly. I'm trying to learn how not to, but it is a constant struggle.
I see myself as lazy, stupid, easily distracted and easily sabotaged. Oh, and don't forget ugly.
My body is a reflection of how I see myself.
I can trick the world into thinking my face is not half bad through cosmetics and a clever photo angle, but I see a different version of me. The one that is sans makeup, the one that is looking square on. The one that has bright red skin and a double chin, that is stressing over a pair of size 18+ trousers being a wee bit too tight and dealing with the humiliation of a new stretch mark appearing on a mistreated stomach.
The one that weighs One Hundred and Ten Kilos (give or take. It's been a while since I weighed myself).
Step One to get over this is adopting the 'fake it til you make it' mantra. I'm following my babe restoration project rules - heading off to get a fresh manicure at lunch time. More beauty treatments tomorrow after work. I'm pretending to be a fit and healthy person - walking to work, getting a PT session in and will walk home again afterwards.
Not sure what Step Two is, so I'll just keep going with Step One until I find myself fit and healthy.
Maybe we need to set a performance indicator for 'fit and healthy' how will I know I've reached it? What does fit and healthy look like and mean to you?
How does one learn to like oneself? It seems I knew once, but have forgotten now.