The real reason I want to lose weight is so I can wear my wardrobe. I have far more clothes in my collection that don't fit than do.
I dislike my body so much that more often than not I ignore it. I ignore it to the point where I generally don't pay any attention to what other people think of it. To use a turn of phrase from Supernatural, it's just my meat suit. I care far more about what people think of my personality and the way I treat others. I try to be kind. Sometimes I can be a bit harsh, a gentle teasing that's misfired. And I hate when that happens. I get horribly embarrassed when I cause someone else pain.
It's a complete mystery is other people will go out of their way to deliberately and maliciously hurt others. To be cruel for nothing more than a few laughs at another expense, or to put someone else down in order to feel better about their own pathetic and miserable existence.
Not long after I finished my Personal Training session, walking along minding my own business, I was abused by a young man who drove past in his car. This isn't the first time it's happened to me. I was informed that I'm a fat slut and I need to exercise/lose weight - AFTER WORKING OUT.
At first, I was upset. To the point of needing to tweet about it and having a little cry. Mr Redpene either saw the tweets or has psychic ability because he called me and pulled me out of the sadness with a huge and wonderful chat.
Now, I don't expect everyone to like me. As a victim of bullying and abuse all throughout my childhood I am fully aware that there are people who won't take a shine to me. But I finished school in the 1990s and I have no patience for this kind of appalling behaviour. There is no excuse for it.
How dare a random, that doesn't know me at all, doesn't know the struggles I deal with daily, doesn't know I wallow in a pit of depression, doesn't know I hate the lardy layers and am actively working to misplace, have the audacity to tell me I'm a fat slut? How does the fact I'm overweight impact their life? Did I OFFEND THEIR VIEW for 3 seconds? Did the unexpected sight of a fatty in workout clothes confuse them? I don't have the answers. Regardless, it's really none of their business what my body is like and ultimately their moment of taunting will be long forgotten by them before my wound has healed.
I don't need you to tell me I'm fat. Keep your god-damned mean-spirited opinions to yourself. Share them with your shrink. If you're unhappy with your life don't take it out on me.
I want to change my body for myself. Not because society and those stupid magazines says I have to be size x. I just want to wear my pretty clothes.